Tears of a Golden Lotus
by Tirya King
Summary: Oneshot. Seiten Tensai isn’t crazy, just very angry.


Title: Tears of a Golden Lotus

Author: Tirya King

Summary: One-shot. Seiten Tensai isn't crazy. Just very angry.

Warning: Language. But then if you know Saiyuki, it's nothing you aren't familiar with.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. 'Tis Minekura-san's.

A/N: This will be a simple little one-shot. Those of you who know the original story of the 'Journey to the West' may pick up a few tidbits here and there that I've sprinkled in. For those who haven't and are curious, I added a little cheat-sheet at the end. Enjoy!

Tears of a Golden Lotus

He came running as soon as he heard the shouts, throat suddenly tight in alarm. From the context of Hakkai and Gojyo's yelling, it didn't take much for him to figure out what had happened in his absence. The snarls amidst the crashing of furniture and bodies confirmed his theory, making him run that much faster.

Goku was without his power limiter.

Sanzo took the inn's stairs two at a time, becoming unnerved at the sudden silence that followed the terrible yells. At the top, he found the owner's family huddled in a corner far from the room he shared with his companions. The children were shaking in fright, clutching to their petrified mother who was muttering to him about a monster let loose in her inn. She begged him to dispose of the demon.

Dismissing them from his mind, Sanzo ran to the room he shared with his companions. No child was missing, nor anyone injured as far as he knew, so they were now no longer his concern. He had to focus entirely on the task at hand. Dispose of the demon indeed…

He paused outside the closed door for a moment, taking the time to pull out his gun and load it. Listening carefully for any sounds of movement, he became increasingly anxious at the complete lack thereof. In his true form, Goku could hardly be called silent and subtle, instead reveling in the havoc he spread. And each time this happened, the damn ape was harder and harder to restrain. If all was silent, then that meant something really bad was going on.

Taking a deep breath, the young priest swiftly opened the door, bracing for whatever might come lashing out at him. To his surprise, Goku didn't attack him right away. But he knew better than to believe luck was on his side. His time spent in the ancient demon's presence taught him much though brief those times were. If Goku did not attack, it was simply because at the moment he did not wish to.

And at that particular moment, said demon was occupied with their resident hanyou. Poor Gojyo was effectively pinned against the wall, trying desperately to dislodge the much smaller boy's claws from around his neck. The half-breed looked rather worse for wear, clothes shredded and blood staining much of his body. Yet his scarlet eyes refused to show any fear to the monkey demon, instead staring with bored defiance.

As Sanzo stepped into the wrecked bedroom, Goku moved his focus slowly from the quickly suffocating kappa hanyou. A knowing smile graced his mischievous face, and his golden eyes glittered. The priest silently berated himself. Of course the monkey had known he was there. He had probably known the second he entered the building.

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence, O Holy One," Gojyo hissed out even as he struggled for air. His hands, growing weaker, were still clawing at the strong ones that held him. He was swiftly running out of air.

"What happened?" the priest asked, gun still pointed steadily at the motionless Goku. He didn't even blink for fear of losing his target. That little shit was fast when he wanted to be.

"Don't know exactly. One minute he was fine playing with the other little munchkins and then he's gone all ape-shit on us. That crazy sonofa…" he squeaked out in pain as the grip on his neck tightened considerably. A line of blood trickled down his neck and bare chest. If he wasn't careful, Goku could easily crush his entire throat, ensuring a long painful death.

But Sanzo knew better than to worry about that. Goku was far from insane in this form, any idiot could see that. He knew exactly what he was doing. Always. If he wanted to kill the overgrown cockroach, he would have by now.

"He's not crazy, you idiot. And he's not deaf either. So I suggest you shut up and quit pissing him off," Sanzo ordered. "You're not helping."

"That's the first intelligent thing anyone's said all day, Dama-sama."

The priest's lavender eyes widened as he heard the smooth, rich voice come from the young demon's mouth. He had never spoken before while in this form, and they'd simply assumed he was incapable of it. This new realization only reinforced his theory that this ancient Son Goku was perfectly sane. And that only made him that much more dangerous. If only he could get close enough to…

"Stay back," Goku ordered sharply. His golden eyes narrowed. "I'll kill him before you take another step." He twitched his claws painfully in emphasis causing Gojyo to choke out another curse.

"How about you put the dumb kappa down and we get this over with," the priest suggested instead, his voice cold and hard. He took orders from no one, and especially not from some arrogant demon.

Gojyo, never one to settle for being ignored in a conversation featuring him added, "if this dumb kappa could just say that…"

Like one might a doll, Goku flung him away towards one of the beds with little effort. Hakkai on the floor, Sanzo noticed out of the corner of his eye, stirred at the sound of Gojyo landing nearby, but he didn't wake completely. He looked even worse off than the red-head so the young priest wasn't very surprised.

"Why are you pointing that gun at me, Dama-sama?" Goku purred, voice textured like the richest velvet. His body was completely at ease, eyes now gazing at him lazily. "Are you going to kill me?"

What the hell was this 'Dama-sama' business about?

"That all depends on you, monkey," the monk replied, steadying his arm. "Give me a reason and I'll put a bullet right between your eyes."

A lie and they both knew it. No matter how often he threatened it, Sanzo could no more shoot his young charge than his own master.

"What a pity you haven't the strength to go through with it." He saw through the lie as easily as he saw the priest standing there before him. Saw the hint of hesitancy in amethyst eyes. "Because I'm certainly going to kill you." The young one smiled in mischief.

"And why is that?" Sanzo asked in a bored tone. He inched a little closer, becoming more and more unsure by the minute. It had been easier to think of Goku's true form as being crazy. That the wounds inflicted by him were wounds inflicted in the throes of madness. But now, now it was all so much more complicated. This Goku was as sane as the one wearing the diadem. This one attacked them knowingly and with purpose.

"Don't pretend you don't know," the demon snapped, all humor leaving his face as swiftly as it came. His honey eyes widened uneasily as he stared at Sanzo, the lethargic look gone. "I told you to stay back!"

"Why?" the priest smirked, taking another step in defiance. No ape was going to order him around. "Afraid your Dama-sama might crown your monkey ass like before?"

The sudden dangerous glint in Goku's eyes was enough to make him pause. He'd hit a nerve there. Pushed too hard too fast. "You mock my captivity?" he hissed in feral anger, pupils narrowing to tiny slits. "You insolent, fool! You are no different from the ones who took away my home and name."

"What the hell are you spouting, monkey?" Sanzo demanded, fully sick of this demon's roundabout talk. The arrogant ape was much preferable when he was silent and wreaking merry havoc. "You have a name. Who are you talking about? I want some answers now, Goku, or I'll put a fucking hole in your head."

"I have the name you gave me," Goku snarled. "It is not _my_ name. It is only one name out of dozens I bear and it is the one that binds me to you. Therefore it has only my loathing."

"I didn't name you," Sanzo denied, more confused than angry at this point. He didn't let the comment about loathing anything connected to him go to heart. This wasn't his monkey talking. This wasn't his Goku.

"You can change form, you can hide your aura in the body of a mortal, but I still know the one who gave me my name." His golden eyes narrowed dangerously as he bared his fangs. "The man who made a promise to find me before breaking it. I want my freedom, Konzen Douji. If I have to kill you and Tenpou and Kenren and all the gods in Heaven to return home, I will. I want my name back!"

"Your name," the priest scoffed, convinced that this monkey had no idea what he was babbling. Perhaps his mind wasn't entirely there after all. "Tell it to me then if you're so convinced."

"Before you named me, I was Seiten Tensai, the Sage Equal to Heaven. The Patriarch gave me a name in religion as well when I was very young. But I was born to my people Mei Kangkai Houwang," the young demon spoke with pride and longing. Longing for his youth again. A youth that Sanzo had never even tried to consider before now. A youth of freedom before the prison in the Mountain of Five Elements.

He snorted at the frivolous names the dumb ape adorned himself with. He'd never really considered the monkey's conceit before either. "More like Yu Shagua Houwang. But what's a king without his kingdom?"

The self-proclaimed monkey king smiled wickedly, golden eyes sparkling with excitement. "I'm in the market you might say. I want a grand kingdom. The best Buddha has to offer." His tone left no question of what kingdom he wanted to claim as his own.

"You're speaking of Heaven itself?" Sanzo rolled his eyes. "You'd never get passed the front gates."

"It won't be so hard," Goku shrugged. "I'm much stronger now than when I was young. The gods are right to fear a second return of this monkey king. Oh, that's right," he purred, smile growing unnaturally wide, "you weren't there the first time, were you, Konzen? You were dead."

Sanzo said nothing to this, a shiver running up his spine. This… this creature was so sure of what he was saying. It was easier to believe him spouting nonsense, just as it was easier to believe he was crazy. But he had the feeling the former was no more true than the latter. And there was a feeling, one so similar to déjà vu, that wanted to believe what was being said.

He was unable to comment before the demon continued. "Well you should be pleased to know, Dama-sama, that all that has happened was for your sake. My 500 years of hell were for you." He took a step forward. "Every scar the Jade Emperor ordered to be inflicted upon me were for you." Another step. "Every second spent in that damned furnace burning alive was for _you_!"

Were those tears in his golden eyes? Why did it hurt so badly to hear these words? The young monk had no idea what he was talking about, couldn't have possibly witnessed any of this. He hadn't even known this child until six years ago. Yet some part of him wanted to cry at the child's misfortunes, for that's what he was. Arrogant and crafty, but just a child. The young monk felt guilt clench his stomach though he couldn't imagine why he should feel responsible for what wasn't his fault.

"I waited for you to come!" Goku yelled as he leaped forward to grip Sanzo's robes. The gun fell to the priest's side as he no longer had the strength to hold it up. All he could do was stare into the tortured honey eyes and hope to come out whole again. "She said you would come for me! She said if I was patient and called that you would come!"

Shoving his Master to the floor, Goku retreated to the back of the room again before any attempts were made to restrain him. But his Master had no strength to restrain him now. Images were flooding his mind. Images he didn't understand and part of him didn't wish to understand. Images of flowers and festivals and shortened chains too heavy to lift. "I came," he whispered hoarsely from the ground. His voice didn't seem to want to work. "I came when you called."

He sounded so weak even to himself. Why did he have to be so damn weak! He had to be strong just as his own Master told him.

Mei Kangkai Houwang chuckled humorlessly. He shook his head sadly, a tear escaping a honey gilded eye. "You came 500 years too late, Dama-sama. I would have given you a place in my kingdom. You and Ten-chan and Ken-nii-chan. I was so damn content being simple little Goku, Konzen's silly pet. I was content being restrained with that crown and even the heavy chains."

He looked sorrowfully around the room, at the still forms of Gojyo and Hakkai, at the priest on the ground before him. And his lost look became hard and unforgiving. The tears of loss became those of hatred. "I was so fucking content to be with you! I would have suffered anything for you and don't think I didn't suffer. Those gods will die for allowing you to die. Nataku, Tenpou, Li Touten, Kenren, Goujun, Jiroushin, the Emperor… I'll kill them all. Only now when I take Heaven, I will have no need for the Sun. I will have no need for _you_!"

Sanzo wasn't aware that such words could cut that deeply and he hated the flinch that came with them. He had known, of course, that Goku liked to refer to him as his Sun. He had even tried to discourage it, seeing such devotion as dangerous and very unnerving. But to hear that Goku, even this Goku, had no need for him…

"Did that hurt, Dama-sama?" the monkey king cooed with his deep velvet voice. It would be a soothing voice if it weren't so cruel. His tears dried on tanned cheeks, browned by the light of the sun he now rejected. "Knowing that your little pet hates you?"

"I don't know about any of that crap you're spouting," Sanzo said evenly, trying to make his voice as steady as he could. He pulled his wits about him as he struggled to fight back against this verbal attack. "But I'm not this Konzen person."

"Don't you lie to me," Mei Kangkai Houwang hissed, dropping into a crouch. Muscles rippled as he tensed, ready to spring. Sanzo was nearly out of time. "You can change your form; you can change your name. You can even try to mask your scent in that body of flesh and blood. But I know the man who named me. Don't you _dare_ fucking lie to me! I can rip out your throat before you take your next breath." Claws still wet with blood bared dangerously.

"Then why don't you?" the young priest gained more courage, rising to his feet. He pushed away whatever fear he had of the enraged monkey and any of the hurt he had inflicted. It was time this farce ended for now. Even as he summoned the power of the sutra within him, he taunted the boy. "You say you're going to kill me and the others. You say you don't need me anymore. That's bullshit and you know it. If you were going to kill us, you would have done it by now rather than waste time babbling like an idiot."

To Sanzo's credit, he could see the boy as he sprung. However, he could never hope to get out of the way in time. Goku's sharp nails dug into his chest as the monkey king grasped his robes again, tighter than before. "Oh no, I am going to kill you," he purred menacingly into his ear. "And you're going to beg for it when the time comes. Don't you doubt that for one minute."

Sanzo stared unafraid into those large golden orbs, new strength behind his stern gaze. "Liar," was all he whispered.

He didn't know how he knew it, but he did. Son Goku, Seiten Tensai, Mei Kangkai… whoever this child of Earth might be; he was not Sanzo's murderer. And he wasn't Hakkai's murderer either. Or Gojyo's.

The grip tightened at his words and he swore the claws must have drawn blood. "You deserve to die, Konzen," the child growled between clenched teeth, releasing all his hate into the priest. "And I'm going to be the one to do it."

"Then do it." There it was. The ultimate challenge. Now to see if the boy had the guts to put his claws where his words were. It was risky, but he wasn't a master at mahjong for nothing.

Was that hesitation he saw in Goku's eyes? Ah, he thought so. "Not today," he shook his head, grabbing the priest's right hand with his left. Before Sanzo could register what was happening, the monkey king had placed the hand on his forehead. All that was needed was the chant. The one that he knew without knowing. The one that would seal this angry demon and bring back the vibrant Goku.

Seiten's feline eyes narrowed and he bared his fangs. "Go on and shut me away. Shut away this beast because you want your slave back. He loves you just as I did. He's content to be your pet and would suffer anything for you. How long will it be before you force us into another furnace, burning alive for you?"

His face drew nearer as he sneered at the monk. Sanzo could smell the scent of wind and earth and leaves and all things wild. "You may think you're invincible, but remember this, Dama-sama. The Sun always sets in the West."

He'd heard enough and it was time his Goku returned. The power drew around him fully to summon the diadem as he stared coldly at the creature who threatened him. Seiten looked betrayed as his forehead shimmered in his master's holy light even though he had been the one to initiate it. Feline eyes, feral and untamed, became rounder and dull. Wild unkempt hair shorted once more, and his deadly claws, still clinging tightly to Sanzo, retracted and released.

The young priest, exhausted from the conversation and then the effort of summoning the diadem, grabbed the boy before he could too collapse entirely. "Sanzo," he heard breathed into his ear as Goku was finally back to normal. The child, exhausted as always from transforming, fell into a deep sleep that he wouldn't waken from for many hours.

Sighing in relief, Sanzo sank to the ground still supporting the child who had caused him so much trouble. He always hated it when the ape transformed, but it seemed that this time they had taken the experience to a whole new level. What should he say when Goku woke up having realized that he'd lost his diadem again? How could he explain the hatred that this inner Goku, the true Goku, had for Sanzo and the others?

"Sanzo?" a soft hesitant voice caused him to look up and into concerned green eyes. Hakkai was standing by the bed where he'd lain unconscious. The demon slayer moved stiffly, but appeared uninjured otherwise. Good. Sitting upright and gently massaging his throat was the kappa.

How much had they seen and heard? Did they hear Goku's threats? Did they fathom just how much the demon inside their silly monkey hated them? The priest adjusted his hold on the boy so he was nestled comfortably to his chest. His grip grew a bit tighter. What would they do now? What would they say?

"That little punk throws a damn good punch," Gojyo grumbled as he pushed himself up to sit on the bed.

"What happened?" Sanzo asked the pair. "How did the diadem come off?"

"I don't know exactly," Hakkai shook his head. "He was playing with the children and one of the little boys asked if he could see it. Goku tried to stop them, and I think he may have loosened it himself by accident."

"This isn't a fucking headband," the priest growled angrily. "He shouldn't be able to just nudge it off."

"Yeah well he did, baldy," Gojyo snorted as he reached over for the first aid kit. The wounds on his neck were still bleeding lightly and they needed cleaning. "I'm gonna nail the damn thing into his head! We can't have him doing shit like that all the time."

"What are we going to do?" Hakkai asked softly, observing the sleeping boy in the priest's arms. As if just noticing the cute little picture they made, Sanzo brought him to a bed on the opposite side of the room. He placed him down gently and walked back to the group to put some distance between them. The scent of nature still clung to his robes.

"What are you talking about? We're going to keep doing as we've been doing," Sanzo said. "Nothing's changed."

"Not only is he not insane but he wants us dead," the demon pressed. "I don't want to sound like I am afraid of him…"

"Which you are."

"We all are, even you I'm sure. Mei Kangkai Houwang seems to think we wronged him in the past and if he transforms again, I fear he may try to exact his revenge. At the very least he may jeopardize our quest."

"It's _my_ quest and that puts me in charge. If the monkey walks, that's his business," Sanzo replied evenly, lavender eyes burning in indignant anger. "But we're not going to make him leave just because some asshole inside him wants to kill us. We already knew he's a violent little shit when he transforms, nothing's changed."

"Going soft, old timer?" Gojyo teased for a moment. His face sobered quickly though as his scarlet gaze fell on the boy on the far side of the room. "But I don't know, man. I thought he was just nuts before. That… thing definitely ain't nuts and he wants us dead. What did he call us before?"

"The same names that Homura called us," Hakkai nodded. "Perhaps there is something to what the kami said. About knowing us before."

"Does it fucking matter?" Sanzo picked up a fallen chair and slammed it upright in his anger. "For all I know he's right and I'm the reason he was under that damn mountain in the first place. Don't tell me you two want to drop him?"

"You know that's not true," Hakkai tried to sooth him. Gojyo just grunted his agreement, not wanting to admit that he wanted the kid around just as much. "But you can't help but be concerned. What do we tell him? He'll know he transformed again."

"You know how the chibi-monkey is," the hanyou shook his head. "He'll take off."

"We tell him what happened," Sanzo said. At his companions' startled looks, he added, "he kicked your asses and I had to come save the day. Again."

"Oh sure," Gojyo snorted sarcastically. "Sanzo, my knight in the yellow dress."

Choosing not to waste his bullets on the dumb kappa for mocking him and his robes again, Sanzo just settled for an annoyed glare. "Shut up, cockroach."

When he awoke that night, the first thing Goku felt was a rush of fear. It was the same drained feeling that came after every time he lost his diadem. And the fact that he didn't remember anything of the day before only reinforced this belief. This wasn't their room in the inn, where was he?

"Sanzo! Hakkai! Gojyo!" he shouted, sitting up quickly in a panic. Where were they? He risked a glance at his hands and nearly cried at the thick layer of blood crusting his fingers. The boy's throat tightened and he found it hard to breath. "Sanzo!" he tried again, voice cracking painfully.

The quick sound of footsteps alerted him to someone coming moments before the door opened. It was Hakkai and while he looked rather roughed up, he was still alive and whole. Gojyo was right behind him, a tight set of bandages around his neck. Goku said nothing to them, not knowing where to even start.

Their resident healer came and sat down on the bed, smiling gently. "Is everything alright, Goku? We heard you calling all the way downstairs."

He nodded, still afraid when Sanzo didn't come in immediately. Gojyo noticed his wandering eyes and grinned cheekily. "Don't worry, Master's coming along."

"Are you babbling again, you stupid kappa?" a much-missed voice grunted as the fourth and final member of the group entered the room. "And you," he glared at the boy, though with noticeably less anger in his voice. "What are you yelling about? Some people are trying to sleep you know."

His robes were down at the top so he wore only his black undershirt. However this had the effect that the holes in his side were more obvious. White bandages showed everywhere there was a tear in the shirt and more than one bruise adorned the proud monk's body. Thankfully he wasn't as bad off as the others.

"I…" Goku swallowed and tried again, hating the tears of relief that replaced the ones of fear. Sanzo hated tears and the others were no fans either. "What did I do?"

"If you're asking if you destroyed the whole village, no you didn't," Sanzo said walking up to stand next to Hakkai who still sat at the boy's bed. "Just messed up the room and scared some of the little brats."

"Are you guys… I mean, is everyone…"

"We're just fine," Hakkai assured him. "Nothing permanent or serious."

"I'm really sorry," the young demon blurted out. "I tried to keep them from touching it, and I didn't mean to bump it, and…"

"Pfft. How many times do I have to tell you that you can't kill me?" Gojyo rapped his skull gently with a knuckle. "I'm going to die in the arms of some beautiful babe and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" He grinned lecherously, red eyes sparkling.

"Hentai," muttered Sanzo hopelessly. "Look, Goku, you didn't kill anyone. Everything's back to normal, so stop your damn crying, alright?" After seeing the demon within his young charge sobbing like the world had come down, he didn't want to see one more tear in those golden eyes ever again.

"But…" he sniffled.

"Do any of us look fucking dead to you? Stop crying I said." It was his expression more than anything that finally dried Goku's eyes. Those amethyst eyes stared into his, pleading with him to stop. His Master was acting strange and he figured it had something to do with the incident not 3 hours ago. But whatever it was, no one was saying and he couldn't deny his Sun anything. Much less a request like that.

He stopped his tears and forced a smile, weak though it was onto his face. He was content to be like this, with this strange version of a family. With being simple little Goku, Sanzo's silly pet.

**FINIS**

**A/N:** Just a simple little one-shot like I said. When I first began this, I had only read the first Gaiden. Now that I've read Zero-Sum Gaiden I know this is rather inaccurate. But who cares, this was so much fun to write : )

**Cheat-sheet:**

**Aware-of-Vacuity**: one who ponders nothingness. The monkey king's Name in Religion given to him by a Daoist Master. Taken from original story. This is what Goku was referring to.

**Mei**** Kangkai Houwang**: In Chinese it translates to 'Handsome Stone Monkey King.' Translated by me into Chinese from English (as they are Chinese). Name taken from the original story. In the story, the monkey king does change his name to 'The Sage Equal to Heaven.' I've kept that in its Japanese rather than translate it again into Chinese.

**Yu Shagua Houwang**: In Chinese it translates to 'Blockheaded Monkey King'. Sanzo being a smart-ass and using a play on words. Translated by me into Chinese from English.

**Dama-sama**: Master. Used by a slave to their owner.

**The furnace**: In the original story, the Jade Emperor was unable to kill the monkey king through normal means so he put him in a furnace to burn to death… which also didn't work. This is also how he gains his golden eyes. Not canon, but I still like to use it if you've read my other Saiyuki stuff.


End file.
